Summer is a Super Villain.

Summer’s here……yay. (that last part is dripping in sarcasm) Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of fun things that happen in the summer time pool swimming, beach going, vacations, no school, but along with these fun things come some of the things I hate most in life.
With swimming and the beach comes the oh so fun swim suit hunt. Uggghhhh. Well at least my options have been naturally narrowed down for me. The fact that I’ve had two kids causing stretch marks that rival the stripes of a Burmese tiger…. bikinis are out. I’m also not a huge fan of one pieces because, more often than not, they hug the wrong spot the wrong way, although there are a few that work really well I don’t always feel like trying on 50 to find that 1 that works. The safest bet for me is what I like to call the momkini (it’s actually a tankini but let’s face it, it’s a mom’s best friend).

Along with the bathing suit problem the beach also brings the sand problem. I hate sand almost as much as I hate chalk and for those of you that know me that’s a lot. (I won’t even touch chalk, I will touch sand so that’s why I say “almost”) Sand is the worst. It gets everywhere, I will try to sit as neatly on my towel as possible and yet somehow it finds a way to get cover my entire body, not only that, but it finds it’s way home with me which drives me INSANE. It gets all over the car, tracked into the house, stuck to the floor of the bathtub, in little piles in the bedroom. It’s like glitter but without the pretty factor.

Vacations bring tons of fun but they also bring 6+ hours in the car with two children (and a dog) asking how much longer. We used to have dvd players but after going through our 4th set I decided I was done. I was bored as a kid driving to our vacation spot, my kids can be too, but lets face it I’m basically shooting myself in the foot for making this decision. No dvd players = triple the amount of “how much longers.”

No school is great my only issue is that I seem to have lost all since of time during the day. I’ll get on the computer to work on a few projects and the next thing I know Caleb’s walking in the door. (Crap, I haven’t even thought about dinner, and we all know my 30 Minute Meals with Rachel Ray isn’t going to help me at all) This part of summer is by no means terrible it’s just that I need to find my own will power to stop watching Bat Dad videos and make sure I get done what needs to get done in the house.

Heat. I hate heat and summer brings tons of it. I’m pretty hot natured to begin with so summer often makes me feel like I’m sitting in a crockpot that’s sitting in an oven. In the winter you can add layers until you reach a comfortable temperature, you can’t do this in the summer, you can only get a certain amount of naked before people start judging you. I already sweat more than I feel a normal person should on a mild day therefore during the summer you best believe I wear black all the time so that sweat doesn’t show. I also wear a lot of skirts/ dresses and people always ask why I’m so dressed up…. I’m not it’s just that wearing any kind of pants in this kind of heat makes me feel like Ross in the “Leather Pants” episode of Friends. I’m afraid at some point of the day I will no longer be able to pull my pants back up after using the restroom.

The worst part of summer… the sun. The sun is my nemesis.(all you pale ladies know what I’m talking about) No matter what I do I will get burnt and not just kind of burnt we‘re talking lobster status. I could be sitting under an umbrella lathered in sunscreen and someway somehow it would still happen. My skin does not tan, if you think I look darker, you should look closer, if you did you’d notice that it’s not tan it’s just a darker shade of red. Sometimes the red isn’t as noticeable, other times I’m burnt to the point that people will literally stop me just to tell me that my sun burn looks painful (yeah thanks guys, I had no idea how painful it was until you pointed it out). The sun HATES me but that’s ok the feelings are mutual.

Even with all of this I will still be very involved with summer activates because there are a few things that make it worth it, I love watching my girls running and jumping off the diving board, or making sand castles in the sand. I love the smiles on their faces when they find the perfect sea shell or they’ve done their first underwater handstand. I even kind of love my husband playfully shooting me with the water gun. Therefore, you’ll see me out there, just look for the lobster in the black tankini sweating profusely while sitting under the umbrella…..

This Year Was The Worst.... Hopefully

We are officially done with our first year of home schooling and it was the WORST….. or at least I hope it was. I’ve had several moms try and comfort me this year by saying “Don’t worry, the first year is always the worst.” I am holding these women accountable if that statement doesn’t turn out to be true.
I feel like I can safely say that I didn’t completely screw up my daughters’ education this year. Neither of the girls seem to be worse for wear and learning has definitely occurred. They haven’t especially loved the no sick days (granted if they had been terribly sick I wouldn’t have made them do school, but they were never that far gone), or the lack of snow days (not that there has been much snow but Alabama is very similar to South Carolina in the fact that if there’s even a single flurry almost everything shuts down), or the snooze-fest lessons because sometimes creativity failed me (there were days that I was doing good just to get through what we needed to do); but they didn’t seem to mind the sleeping late (mostly for my benefit, I am NOT a morning person), not starting school until 9:30 (to be honest that start time would be on a good day), and the ability to travel (although they weren’t always happy that school followed them wherever they went).
Waking up on the last day of school this year was very different from years past, instead of that emotional “My babies are growing up” feeling that I got at every awards day ceremony and final classroom hugs and goodbyes, I woke thinking “Thank you Lord nobody killed each other this year !!” Although there are a few added grey hairs and possibly a few years shaved off my life, I still feel an immense amount of accomplishment that we all actually survived.
I am very proud of my girls, they have endured a lot this year between moving and home schooling and they have faced it all like champs. I pushed them to their limits daily and they worked hard and came out victorious. They are both crazy good mathematicians and have grown a lot in their reading abilities, but the most important thing to me is that their characters rock. There have been multiple occasions this year that my heart has swelled with pride as I’ve watched them work through hard situations without whining or trying to take the easy route, and they’ve handled difficulties with friends with grace and kindness. I had no awards to give to them today (our printer decided to go on the fritz the last week of school) but if I could I would've give them both the Citizenship award. They have grown in academics, yes, but they are growing into good people with big hearts which, to me, is the biggest accomplishment they can achieve.
I made cupcakes for the girls for their end of the year celebration and we toasted them to all that we’ve accomplished this year. Looking ahead to next year I’m excited for the changes I’ve made to their curriculum that I believe will enable us to have more fun with learning. I am hopeful that I will be a little more together and grow in my teaching effectiveness. For now though……… LET’S ENJOY THE FREEDOM OF SUMMER!!!!

5 Things I Learned From My Childhood Best Friend’s Family

Now before I get started on this post let me first state that I love my family. My parents had the biggest hand in shaping me into who I am today and I love my sisters and look up to them because they are both amazing. This is not a post about “what my family didn’t teach me” it’s simply lessons that other people were more influential in their delivery of. There have been many times that I've told my mom a life lesson that I’ve learned and she looks at me and says “I am so glad you learned that, but you do realize that I told you the exact same thing last week, right?” Sometimes my thick skull needs someone outside the family to prove a lesson to me. Now that this disclaimer is done on to my post…..

I was a special surprise to my parents when my sisters were twelve and fifteen, so by the time I was five they were both off to college and I was raised basically as an only child. I remember how excited I was any time my sisters would come home for a visit (in fact I still hit the same level of excitement as an adult when I know I get to see them), but for those times in between my sisters’ visits life could get pretty lonely . Somehow I was blessed with a best friend that was a match far beyond rivaling Diana Berry and Anne Shirley (yes, AGG seems to be my go to for relationship comparisons). I quickly tried to insert myself into her family and desired every moment I could get amongst them. My best friend was from a family of eight children and I was literally in hog heaven when I’d go over and get to be with them all. That desire to be with them as much as possible lead to me learning a lot of life lessons…..

1. How to change a diaper. I was 10 years old when I changed my first diaper and remember clearly not wanting to do it. My friend's mom never let me play the “only child” card and I am so thankful that she didn’t. I joked for years after changing that diaper how it had scarred me for life and that I’d never be able to eat corn again, but I am so happy that I did it because, lets face it, it was a step into training me for motherhood.

2. Sisterhood. Like I said before my sisters were out of the house when I was young so I learned a lot about sisterhood at my friend’s house. Sharing of clothes, fighting like cats and dogs but then giggling together an hour later, and sharing a room. There was a moment one night while we were all falling asleep in their bedroom that I clearly thought to myself “This is what I want for my children.” There have been some people that have questioned why our girls share a room and have stated that they’ll probably need their own rooms when they’re teenagers. I honestly want them to always share a room, I was so happy at my friend’s house when we’d all go to sleep at night and going home the next night , where I was alone in my room and could hear every little creak that the house made, made me feel so alone. I get the whole “the grass is greener” mentality that may be going on here but I sincerely feel like most people that shared a room growing up would look back on it fondly as an adult.

3. Grocery shopping. Now my mom definitely took me grocery shopping growing up but it was never the same level of shopping intensity that happened at my best friend’s house. They had a large family which meant large amounts of groceries and for the first time ever I saw people go to several different grocery stores to get certain things on the same day. Once my friend was about 17 she would often go do the grocery shopping with her younger sister and I tagged along a few times. I now go grocery shopping, list in hand, once every two weeks and I go to three different stores to get what we need.

Yup, that's us at Sam's.

4. It’s ok if your house isn’t perfect. Let me be clear on this….. Their house was perfect, it was perfectly covered with love. There were extremely loved dolls sitting on the couch as we played dress up and pretended we were mommies, there was make up and hair curlers spread everywhere while we played makeover, instead of getting up and immediately cleaning the kitchen after dinner we would all sit and talk and play games. Dishes could wait a few hours, and when it was time everyone helped each other so it didn’t all end up getting put on one person. To be honest I still have issues with this. I get super embarrassed if someone comes in my house in its normal form, and sometimes I drive Caleb crazy with how particular I get about anyone touching anything starting two days before a guest comes for a visit. I am trying to work through this because I remember so clearly how relaxed I felt at their house at all times. If I accidentally spilt a drink I was met with a smile and an “ It’s ok, I’ll help you clean it up.”

We were washing dishes like champs.

5. This is the most important one. Invest in your children’s friends. My best friend’s parents were invested in me, they were interested in hearing about my life and helping me think through problems I was having. I’ll never forget how her mom’s eyes would light up when she was telling me about something she was passionate about and how that would spark my desire to learn more. I never felt like a burden at their house, even during those yearly full weeks in the winter when I would purposefully get snowed in at their house. I hope to become this kind of person, the kind that my kid’s friends enjoy being around and who makes them feel completely comfortable and at home.

My childhood best friend and I have grown up and gone separate ways, I hardly talk to her which I hate, I wish I had been better at staying in touch (all of my friends will tell you I am literally the worst at it). There are rare occasions that I do get to see her and my heart is full of dearest memories.

I was able to go to her parent’s house at Christmas this year with Caleb and the girls and there it was again, that feeling of comfortableness. It felt like coming home.

Elevensies

For today I'm not talking about my favorite hobbity snack time, for once I will not focus on my stomach, instead I will focus on the amazing man I'm married to. Today marks 11 years since Caleb and I crossed that Georgia line and barely made it to the courthouse in time to be married by a judge while everyone back home in South Carolina sat around having no idea what was going on. Eleven years. Let's put that into perspective shall we? Eleven years ago George W. Bush was in his second term, gas was at $3.18 per gallon, and You Tube went online for the first time. We were first introduced to the characters of Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds, How I Met Your Mother, and (for you young tikes out there) The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. People were grabbing Twilight and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo off the shelves at Barnes and Noble and over in the kid's section Fancy Nancy was making her "debut" (that's a fancy word for first appearance). Our car stereos were blasting with awesome songs like 1,2 Step by Ciara, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, Scars by Papa Roach, and (my personal fav) Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stephani. Eleven years... This *ish* is bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S)!
Looking back I would not be surprised if people were taking bets on how long our relationship would last, I can't blame them, we were 18 and 19 and new absolutely NOTHING about life. ( Seriously, nothing. I had used the washing machine a grand total of zero times before I got married) At this point, though, I'm pretty sure we've surpassed all the dates of the bets made, which to be quite honest is a huge feat. Caleb did not know what he was getting himself into when he took the hand of an introverted, yet extremely strong willed control freak, and I didn't know what I was getting into when I took the hand of an extroverted, free spirited dreamer. We essentially had to grow up together, and let me tell you there have been some major growing pains! (I mean what do you expect from people that have the exact opposite personality types? For you MBTI people I'm an ISFJ (Defender) and he's an ENFP (Campaigner)) Those growing pains were not for naught though because here we stand after 2 kids, 3 deployments, 4 states, 6 houses, 8 cars, 36 tattoos, at least 2 years apart on separate continents, and actually living together after so much separation. Our 11 years are certainly something to celebrate!
For all the people wondering how in the world we do it..... whenever I think about that question in my head all I hear is Rihanna singing "werk, werk, werk, werk, werk nananananana" (No, I don't know all the words, who does?). Seriously though, tons of work, with solid helpings of sacrifice, respect, tolerance (that's a real honest one you don't hear often), alone time together, laughter, and chocolate (That's actually just a hint to my husband to bring some home with him this evening, sorry, I know I said I wouldn't focus on my stomach, but this girl loves some chocolate).
Now to the mush.... Caleb is my rock and my best friend. He makes me laugh every single day, and he has grown into an amazing man and an incredible father. He reminds me to live a little instead of being so stuffy all the time, he pushes me to not worry about perfection but to give whatever I do my absolute best, and after 11 years I still covet every moment I can get with him. He's the Gilbert Blythe to my Anne Shirley, the Marius Pontmercy to my Cosette, the Mr. Rochester to my Jane Eyre, the Mr. Darcy to my Elizabeth Bennet, and the Schmidt to my Cece. He's my heart.

Dear Rachel Ray,

Dear Rachel Ray,
I adore you, I really do. You're cute and bubbly and love dogs but here's my issue... you have too many ingredients in almost every single recipe. I wish I loved to cook, I watch cooking shows for fun and write down recipes like I'm actual going to use them, but I don't. To be super honest if it has more than about five ingredients it's never going to happen, if it's more than about 5 steps also never going to happen. Searing meat before putting it in the crockpot? Are you kidding? That's so much work! Ok in reality it's not a ton of work but in my incredibly lazy, cooking-hating mind it is.
On top of my lack of enthusiasm for making dinners I also have the constraints of food allergies (dairy, egg, peanut, and shellfish) to keep me from the truly easy and yummy recipes. I love my children and I obviously do not mind searching for meals that won't kill them, but if we could just have dairy back, that's all I would ask for. We would have casseroles galore and cheese on everything. So.... now that I think about it... maybe the dairy allergy actually helps us all to not be excessively overweight.
Have you ever read an allergen free cook book? It's a lazy, cooking- hating persons worst nightmare. You can't find a recipe without at least 15 ingredients. I appreciate the people that have taken the time and energy to write these books (and also to you, Rachel Ray, for your recipes) and I do use them every-so-often (when I can find the ingredients that you can't find at your local Walmart), but how did you have the time to come up with these recipes? When I try to make one it takes me about two hours, is it just that I'm incredibly slow? Maybe that's my real problem with cooking, I'm just slow so everything takes twice as long as it does most other people. I'm also a stickler to instructions so i read and re-read the recipe at least 10 times to make sure I've completed all the steps. Nothing makes me angrier than a vague ingredient or step, for example: "a dash of salt" what is this? A "dash" is not an exact measurement! What if my "dash" isn't the same amount as the recipe creator's "dash"? People tell me that cooking isn't an exact science that you have to taste while you go, be creative with what kind of spices you add in. Creative? Do I seem like a creative person? I get mad about "a dash of salt" what do you think the possibilities are of me grabbing random spices out of the cabinet and pouring unmeasured amounts into what I'm cooking? The answer, my friend, is zero.
My poor family. My husband is a trooper and tries to find at least something to compliment at dinner every night like "This chicken isn't as dry as last night's, you did a really great job!" Bless his heart. My kids are a little more honestly blunt (they get that from me), "Mom, please don't make me eat any more of this." When anyone comes to visit I stick to the staples, tacos and spaghetti, the two things I don't often fail at (mostly because everything comes in a box or jar or spice packet).
I truly hope that some day a desire ignites inside of me and I get over the whole "that's too much work" mentality. I'm trying to take steps, little by little. I try at least one new recipe every week (much to my kids' dismay), my crockpot use has gone down to about only twice a week instead of four, and I'm trying to not let ingredient list length sway me from trying a new recipe. Until this magical igniting desire occurs could you change the name of your whole "30 Minute Meals" theme because I feel like it just mocks me "30 minutes for Rachel, 5 hours for you, sucka!" And if we could also do away with the non measurements of dash, pinch, etc. my little direction following heart would be so happy. Thank you so much! ~ The lazy, cooking-hating mom

Mother's Day Resolution

I'm not with my mom for Mother's Day this year. We were with her last week, however, and she mentioned how lonely it was going to be this Mother's Day without any kids or grandkids around her. I thought to myself....that sounds absolutely wonderful, a day of complete peace where you can do whatever you want to! Being a smart 29 year old who thinks she knows everything I turned to her and told her as much, to which she replied "No it doesn't sound perfect to me, it sounds lonely." I answered with some remark about how when she was my age she probably thought differently, but as the week has progressed it's been weighing on my mind. My daughters are 9 and 7 already, when you're going day to day it does seem like forever, but when you look back on it as a whole you realize you blinked and life flashed by. So for this Mother's Day I'm going to make a mother's resolution (unlike New Years resolutions because I've completely given up on those) to stop looking to the future for when the kids are older and I don't have to be as hands on anymore, but instead, to enjoy every moment of what precious time I have left before they're completely independent. I will have many days of peace and quiet in the future, for now I just need to soak up the snuggles, giggles, sparkles, unicorns, and, yes, even the occasional (or not so occasional) chaos.
To my mom this Mother's day, thank you for life, of course, but also thank you for enjoying those times of chaos and snuggles when I was younger. Thank you for teaching me new life lessons even as an adult. Thank you for loving me even though I know I can be hard to love. I love you!

To my precious daughters, thank you for making me a mother, thank you for the snuggles, giggles, sparkles, unicorns, and chaos. It is a privilege to be your mom and I love you so so much.

Of Tassles, and Banners, and Other Party Things.

Last week the gang and I traveled back to SC so I could have a birthday party with my friends back home. My lovely friend Hannah had offered her house up for the Birthday Extravaganza. Now let me tell you, when I host a party the food usually consists of Little Caesars pizza, and you're lucky if I happened to pick up the legos so you don't step on one. Seriously, I am a terrible host. I honestly wouldn't even know where to start if I were to try and plan a party like Hannah. I feel like it would go something like "Sorry I burnt the mac and cheese and that you're drinking that cheap box wine out of a pink My Little Pony cup. They were left over from my seven year old's third birthday party, may as well use them up!" Hannah is the extreme opposite kind of party hostess, she hand makes a lot of the extremely yummy food, takes the time to think about what kind of decorations to put up, and always has a a special cocktail involved. She is truly the hostess with the mostess. I am incredibly blessed to have a friend that is so talented and willing to put in so much work for my birthday.

I had sent Hannah the Melissa McCarthy video where she had a dental mouth guard in and was trying to talk and drink, I told her I really wanted to do stuff like that for my birthday. The woman went out and bought some dental mouth guards and we had a blast giggling at each other trying different things with them in. She made me feel so special and so loved!