5 Things I Learned From My Childhood Best Friend’s Family

Now before I get started on this post let me first state that I love my family. My parents had the biggest hand in shaping me into who I am today and I love my sisters and look up to them because they are both amazing. This is not a post about “what my family didn’t teach me” it’s simply lessons that other people were more influential in their delivery of. There have been many times that I've told my mom a life lesson that I’ve learned and she looks at me and says “I am so glad you learned that, but you do realize that I told you the exact same thing last week, right?” Sometimes my thick skull needs someone outside the family to prove a lesson to me. Now that this disclaimer is done on to my post…..

I was a special surprise to my parents when my sisters were twelve and fifteen, so by the time I was five they were both off to college and I was raised basically as an only child. I remember how excited I was any time my sisters would come home for a visit (in fact I still hit the same level of excitement as an adult when I know I get to see them), but for those times in between my sisters’ visits life could get pretty lonely . Somehow I was blessed with a best friend that was a match far beyond rivaling Diana Berry and Anne Shirley (yes, AGG seems to be my go to for relationship comparisons). I quickly tried to insert myself into her family and desired every moment I could get amongst them. My best friend was from a family of eight children and I was literally in hog heaven when I’d go over and get to be with them all. That desire to be with them as much as possible lead to me learning a lot of life lessons…..

1. How to change a diaper. I was 10 years old when I changed my first diaper and remember clearly not wanting to do it. My friend's mom never let me play the “only child” card and I am so thankful that she didn’t. I joked for years after changing that diaper how it had scarred me for life and that I’d never be able to eat corn again, but I am so happy that I did it because, lets face it, it was a step into training me for motherhood.

2. Sisterhood. Like I said before my sisters were out of the house when I was young so I learned a lot about sisterhood at my friend’s house. Sharing of clothes, fighting like cats and dogs but then giggling together an hour later, and sharing a room. There was a moment one night while we were all falling asleep in their bedroom that I clearly thought to myself “This is what I want for my children.” There have been some people that have questioned why our girls share a room and have stated that they’ll probably need their own rooms when they’re teenagers. I honestly want them to always share a room, I was so happy at my friend’s house when we’d all go to sleep at night and going home the next night , where I was alone in my room and could hear every little creak that the house made, made me feel so alone. I get the whole “the grass is greener” mentality that may be going on here but I sincerely feel like most people that shared a room growing up would look back on it fondly as an adult.

3. Grocery shopping. Now my mom definitely took me grocery shopping growing up but it was never the same level of shopping intensity that happened at my best friend’s house. They had a large family which meant large amounts of groceries and for the first time ever I saw people go to several different grocery stores to get certain things on the same day. Once my friend was about 17 she would often go do the grocery shopping with her younger sister and I tagged along a few times. I now go grocery shopping, list in hand, once every two weeks and I go to three different stores to get what we need.

Yup, that's us at Sam's.

4. It’s ok if your house isn’t perfect. Let me be clear on this….. Their house was perfect, it was perfectly covered with love. There were extremely loved dolls sitting on the couch as we played dress up and pretended we were mommies, there was make up and hair curlers spread everywhere while we played makeover, instead of getting up and immediately cleaning the kitchen after dinner we would all sit and talk and play games. Dishes could wait a few hours, and when it was time everyone helped each other so it didn’t all end up getting put on one person. To be honest I still have issues with this. I get super embarrassed if someone comes in my house in its normal form, and sometimes I drive Caleb crazy with how particular I get about anyone touching anything starting two days before a guest comes for a visit. I am trying to work through this because I remember so clearly how relaxed I felt at their house at all times. If I accidentally spilt a drink I was met with a smile and an “ It’s ok, I’ll help you clean it up.”

We were washing dishes like champs.

5. This is the most important one. Invest in your children’s friends. My best friend’s parents were invested in me, they were interested in hearing about my life and helping me think through problems I was having. I’ll never forget how her mom’s eyes would light up when she was telling me about something she was passionate about and how that would spark my desire to learn more. I never felt like a burden at their house, even during those yearly full weeks in the winter when I would purposefully get snowed in at their house. I hope to become this kind of person, the kind that my kid’s friends enjoy being around and who makes them feel completely comfortable and at home.

My childhood best friend and I have grown up and gone separate ways, I hardly talk to her which I hate, I wish I had been better at staying in touch (all of my friends will tell you I am literally the worst at it). There are rare occasions that I do get to see her and my heart is full of dearest memories.

I was able to go to her parent’s house at Christmas this year with Caleb and the girls and there it was again, that feeling of comfortableness. It felt like coming home.